


Itches

by cosmicoyote



Series: Marichat May 2020 One-Shots [9]
Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Gen, Marichat May 2020
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:20:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24235681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicoyote/pseuds/cosmicoyote
Summary: Prompt Nine: Cone of ShameA new hair product causes Adrien's scalp to itch like crazy. He worries he is having an allergic reaction, but his complaints fall on def ears. He turns to his friend, Marinette, who seems to have a solution for everything. However, his impatience causes her to call for desperate and mildly humiliating measures.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Series: Marichat May 2020 One-Shots [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1728427
Comments: 8
Kudos: 113





	Itches

If Adrien had known what kind of day he would be facing, he would not have gotten out of bed this morning.

The day had started off normal enough: at the crack of dawn to prepare for an early morning photo shoot where he had to be posed and sit for hours on end. This he was used to. What he was not used to was having new products put on his skin before they were approved by his father.

The man who was having his products advertised in the shoot gushed over Adrien's blonde hair and said they could use multiple different products to style it and show off the diversity in which they could be used. Gel, mousse, hairspray, and even flat irons were not unheard of entities to the young model, but unknown and new products? He had a funny feeling, but he ignored it; he had to.

So, the time came for the new gel to be put in his hair, and was topped off with some other stuff that was supposed to keep his hair looking neat and tidy while he posed and moved around.

It took about ten minutes for him to really start feeling an itch.

Being Chat Noir with his cat tendencies, he had been itchy before and in need of a good scratch. Plagg had told him it was just a side-effect of the miraculous for him to have animal tendencies that were more obvious when he was in his superhero guise. A rub against Ladybug, and she had softened enough to give him a light ear scratch to alleviate his itch.

This was different. The itch came with a faint burn, and it made him start to get twitchy and uncomfortable. He was posing with some other models who were also showcasing the hair products, but none of them looked as miserable as he felt. Either they were fine or they were hiding discomfort for the sake of the shoot wrapping up. He could do the same. The thought of his father's wrath kept him upright and smiling.

At long last the shoot ended, and Adrien was dying for a shower. His father's car pulled up, driven by the Gorilla, and he was surprised to see Nathalie in the back with her tablet and a frown.

The young Agreste sat down across from his father's secretary/body guard and scratched nervously at the back of his head. His hair felt stiff and unnatural. He wondered if he should tell Nathalie what happened, but past cold shutdowns made his tongue stick in place. Adrien opted for hugging himself and turning his face away.

"Your father wants you to practice your piano before bed," Nathalie informed him as she tapped on her tablet and then scribbled. "You won't have any further photo shoots until next week."

Relief had him relaxing very slightly, but the itch was getting worse. He scratched at the back of his head then huffed and slouched a little. Nathalie gave him a look over top of her glasses which caused him to straighten out of habit.

His irritation at being judged for being uncomfortable unstuck his tongue. "I think the hair gel didn't agree with my skin," he told her quietly. "My scalp itches."

Nathalie quirked an eyebrow. "You are just not used to the new products, Adrien. You'll be fine once you shower." She turned her eyes back down to her tablet and didn't say another word.

Adrien had never undressed and leapt in the shower so fast in his life once he was home. As he dunked his head under the water and groaned with relief, he heard Plagg say from near his sink, "I don't see the enjoyment humans have for diving into water."

Sighing, Adrien turned so that the cool water could cascade down his scalp and soothe the burning sensation. It helped, but he still felt itchy and greasy like he hadn't washed it in days.

"Anyway, you seem squirmier than usual. What's eatin' ya?" Plagg asked, and Adrien heard the all too familiar sounds of his kwami chomping on cheese.

Adrien took a breath then began lathing his shampoo into his hair carefully, absently scratching at his scalp with his nails a little harder than usual. "I think I had a reaction to the new hair gel or something," he tells Plagg as relief begins to sink in with the burning washing away. "I'm all itchy."

"Can't be one of your... cat itches, is it?" Plagg asked slyly.

His face felt hot even under the cool water. "Shush, Plagg. It's not one of... those. It's definitely a reaction to the product."

"Suit yourself." Plagg sounded like he was gulping down the last of his cheese slice. His resounding burp echoed throughout the spacious bathroom.

______

A half hour later and Adrien was to the point of screaming. His scalp was burning again, and the itching made him want to climb the walls.

Plagg watched him with irritation mixed with amusement, which was the opposite of helpful, as the kwami groomed his face and whiskers.

"Plagg, what am I supposed to do!?" Adrien demanded. "Nathalie thinks I'm overreacting, Father won't see me..." He gritted his teeth.

"Then go out and buy a salve," Plagg grumbled at him.

"I'm not allowed to leave except for school and work! You know that!" Adrien cried, starting to lose his head in his panic and his major discomfort. He rubbed at his head and whimpered a little.

Plagg groaned and scarfed down his cheese before shooting through the air toward his wielder's nose. Adrien winced automatically before blinking at his kwami.

"Have you completely lost your mind!?" Plagg thundered, his green eyes burning. He scowled at the boy he so cared for but sometimes acted as if he had maybe two functioning brain cells.

When those wide and innocent yet clueless eyes just blinked at him, Plagg sagged with the weight of his friend's thick-headed behavior.

"Kid," he said dryly. "Valium doesn't work on kwamis, so just listen to me. For the love of cheese, listen!"

Adrien nodded meekly, much like he did when his father told him off, and that broke Plagg's heart. The cat softened his expression and patted Adrien's cheek with a paw. "You can transform and break out like always. You're not technically supposed to transform for your own personal reasons, but..." He growled a little, "You're not going to get any help here, and you won't be any good to Ladybug with your scalp all itchy. Not to mention, you're driving me crazier than usual with your complaining and scratching."

The young model just nodded again. "You're right, Plagg."

"Of course I am."

He frowned as his nails dug at his irritated skin. Plagg grumbled his displeasure, but Adrien ignored him as he paced, thinking. He could only trust so many people as Chat Noir. If Ladybug wasn't out, he would need to focus on civilians.

"Can't your pigtail friend help you?" Plagg asked. "The baker's kid." His mouth suddenly watered. "I'm sure she has cheesy bread!"

"That's it!" Adrien all but wiggled with excitement. "Marinette always knows what to do!"

Plagg gave the kid a long-suffering look. "Fine, but you better get me some cheesy bread."

He chuckled. "Plagg, claws out!

_______

A few bounds and leaps later, Chat Noir was hurrying along the roofs of Paris. His head now was taking on the burning sensations again and driving him to scratch. His claws provided excellent relief, but it was brief. He kept stopping to dig at his head, and he knew he had to have marks by now.

He was focusing on the bakery just ahead and the balcony that was his target, but then a voice called, "Chat Noir? What are you doing?"

The voice belonged to the very girl he had been looking for.

Chat stopped and jumped down to land in front of Marinette Dupain-Cheng. She looked confused as he scratched at his head and looked at her miserably. "Hey... uh... can you help me? I have a bit of a... purr-blem."

Luckily, not too many people were out and about. A few people openly gaped at seeing Chat Noir converse with a civilian, so he hastily pulled her down into an alley.

"What's wrong?" Marinette asked, her eyes wide and concerned for him. His heart lurched. Nobody else apart from Plagg seemed worried about his state of mind or his discomfort.

"I... Okay, long story short, I used new hair gel, and I think I'm allergic to it or something because my scalp burns, and I can't... I can't stop... scratching." He pawed at his hair, and Marinette grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"Let me see." Her voice was kind but firm.

Chat gulped and bent his knees so she could examine the top of his head.

She reached up, and warm hands ran over his hair. She felt around the irritated skin, but he held still for the sake of her seeing what she could do. She touched a tender spot, and a whimper escaped him before he could stop it.

"Oh, Chaton," she murmured. "You poor thing. Your skin is red and irritated."

He looked up at her. "I can't stop scratching. I took a shower, and it only stopped for a little while."

"You need some anti-itching cream and a balm to soothe the dry skin." Marinette smiled softly. "And you need to stop scratching or you'll just make your head sore."

Chat felt his ears flatten. "I can stop." He folded his arms stubbornly and looked away.

Marinette mirrored his stance and arched an eyebrow skeptically. She knew her kitty. It would only be a matter of time before...

Chat's clawed fingers twitched, and his shoulders tensed up. He shuddered and reached for his hair, but smaller hands grabbed his own and stopped him. "Yeah, sure. We need to get your paws under control, Chat."

He grimaced, so she took his hand and dragged him into a pharmacy. There, she bought the cream for him and some antibiotic for the skin he had cut into with his claws. She spent most of her time picking out the creams and paying and the rest slapping his hands to keep him from digging into his head.

"You're stubborn," Marinette grumbled at him as she planted his butt on a bench. "Now hold still, or I'm getting Ladybug to tie you up with her yo-yo."

Chat smirked, and she nudged his leg with her toe. "Wipe that smirk off your face and relax."

He swallowed and tilted his head toward her. Marinette applied the balms and spoke softly to him sooth his twitching muscles.

"Easy, Chaton. Just breathe."

The balm felt like she was applying cold water to his head, and the relief had him sighing deeply.

"There." Marinette stepped back and wiped her hands off. "That should do it. Now," he lifted his head and smiled at her. "No scratching. At all," Marinette told him firmly. His smile slipped off.

"I um..." Now that the coolness had faded, his head already itched. He made fists and looked up at her with worry.

Marinette narrowed her eyes. "No scratching, Chat. You heard me."

He gulped, and his belt tail twitched anxiously. He fidgeted and bit his lip, feeling as if the itch was spreading down the back of his neck to his back. He wiggled and whimpered before letting out a yelp, his hands leaping to his hair.

Marinette all but jumped on him and yanked his hands away by the wrists. "No! Ugh! Chat, control yourself."

"I can't! It burns!" Chat's eyes pricked with tears of frustration. He was miserable, itchy, and his whole body was quivering with the urge to drop to the ground and roll around like a real cat just to put an end to his misery. It was tempting - very tempting.

His friend must have caught the look in his eye for she released one of his hands to pat his shoulder. "Okay, maybe we went about this the wrong way. A hat wouldn't do..." She tapped her chin then her eyes brightened. "I think I know where we can find a solution!" She grabbed his hand to lead him down the sidewalk as quickly as possible.

A few buildings down, Marinette pulled him into a shop then hastily closed the door. Chat Noir blinked then looked around the store. He saw everything from enormous dog beds to cat scratchers and fish tanks.

"A... pet store?" he asked, his stomach in knots. "Marinette, how-?"

"If we can't get you to stop scratching," she said, marching toward the counter, "Then we can tap into your more... primal instincts."

Chat did not like the sound of that one bit.

A young woman at the counter who looked to be a handful of years older than them, blinked when she saw the cat suited hero accompanying a young girl. To her credit, the cashier smiled and straightened behind the counter instead of freaking out. 

"Hello! How can I help you?" she asked, smiling. Her name tag said "Zoey", and she looked genuinely happy to help. Her hair was pulled back in a loose bun, and her blue eyes sparkled kindly.

Marinette grunted when Chat Noir dug his heels in, putting his weight down like a cat being taken to the vet. "M-Marinette, I don't-"

Zoey's eyes went from calm and kind to bewildered. "Is something wrong?"

"Kind of," Marinette said bracingly, her hand firmly holding onto Chat's elbow. "He's having a hard time not itching his head after a mix up with some products."

The cashier frowned and stepped around the counter. "I don't understand why you would come here then."

Marinette smiled, and Chat did _not_ like the mischief that sparkled in her eyes. "I was thinking you could provide a device that would persuade my friend here to keep his claws away from his head while it heals."

"Can I see?" the older girl asked, her eyes moving to Chat's.

He gulped then nodded and bowed his head down so she could get a look.

She made a noise of sympathy. "Oh, ouch you poor thing. You must be miserable."

"It's hard to resist scratching," Chat moaned, laying it on thick with kitten eyes in an attempt to win over the cashier and stop whatever Marinette was thinking of doing. "Can mew help?" (A cute pun never hurt either.)

"I dunno what I can do for you besides tell you to apply plenty of anti-itching cream and avoid scratching. I'm not a nurse or anything." Zoey looked as if she felt bad for him but also lost.

"I was hoping you would help me find a solution for other kitties who scratch too much. A temporary fix," Marinette said with a small smirk.

Chat crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes at Marinette. "I told you! I can... I can control myself." His fingers twitched again, and both Marinette and Zoey shared a knowing look as he reached for his burning scalp.

Marinette stopped him with a sigh.

Zoey smiled slowly. "I have something, but like other kitty cats, he's not going to enjoy it."

Chat whimpered beside Marinette as the pet store employee disappeared behind a rack of medical supplies.

"Princess," he breathed once the cashier was out of sight. "I don't like the looks of this..." His ears were sideways, and his tail was swishing low near his ankles, showing his nervousness.

"If you can't stop scratching, we need to put up a barrier," Marinette argued back. "And we both know you won't stop until the the cream starts kicking in, so just suck it up."

Zoey returned, holding a length of black material he had never seen before. He could make out velcro straps on the ends, and the words "E collar" printed on the side.

"Whoa- w-wait! M-Marinette! I-"

The pet store employee looked faintly amused. "I promise it keeps cats from scratching. I can't tell you how many times I've had someone bring a poor dog or cat in here that won't leave a hot spot or a surgical site alone."

"Just try it on, Chat," Marinette grumbled. 

Zoey bit her lip when Chat raised his eyes to give her a pleading look in a last ditch effort to get her on his side. She was older than them. Maybe Marinette would listen if-

"Stay still. No biting or swatting please," the very unhelpful (and apparently soulless if she could ignore his kitten eyes) cashier said as she placed the E collar around his neck. She strapped it in while he recoiled then stepped away.

Marinette giggled hard behind her hands as Chat Noir, hero of Paris and mighty defender of the people, stood there with flattened ears and a viciously swishing tail. His arms were crossed and he was looking half furious and half embarrassed. The black cone around his neck matched his outfit.

Zoey looked close to laughter herself, but she restrained herself - probably for the sake of her job.

"This is... claw-ful!" Chat reached up experimentally and pawed toward his head. The cone worked like a charm and was large enough that he could not physically reach his head. After a few annoyed swats, Chat dropped his arms in defeat and scowled at Marinette. "Alright. You had your fun."

Marinette snickered. "Can't I get some pics for the Ladyblog?"

"NO!"

"Aww, you're no fun."

The pet store employee took pity on him at long last and removed the e collar. "That one Pixar movie gave these the name 'the cone of shame', but they really do work." She smiled lopsidedly. "But I don't think you need one. I think your friend got you to learn your lesson."

"And if I catch you scratching, I'll drag your feline butt back here and stick the cone on you myself," Marinette grumbled.

Chat grimaced. "Uh... yes, ma'am," he murmured, rubbing his neck then lowering his hands.

"And if you give Ladybug a hard time, I'll just tell her where to get the cone," Marinette added. "We've talked before."

Chat shuddered. "I won't scratch, Princess. I promise."

"Then here." She tossed him the creams to help soothe the itch and tend to his sore spots. "Put more on after you shower tonight, okay?"

"Okay." Chat's green eyes softened as he smiled down at her. "Even though you humiliated me and scared me into not itching my head."

Marinette grinned as they said goodbye to the cashier who had promised not to tell anyone they had visited the pet shop. Awkward questions could be asked about them being seen together with her out of the ladybug suit. Plus, Chat wanted their little adventure to be kept secret.

"Hey, I had to do something, Chaton," Marinette defended herself as the two of them got ice cream - something to get Chat's mind off of his sore head. "I was worried you would scratch your head down to the bone with those claws of yours."

He grimaced at the mental image. "You have a point," he conceded as he licked his blueberry ice cream with pink sorbet on top. "The cone of shame is something Ladybug would do, actually." He chuckled as Marinette laughed along with him.

"Please don't scare me like that again," Chat pleaded with her, his eyes round.

Marinette giggled. "Alright, Kitty. I promise if you promise to just listen next time you ask me for help."

He winked. "Noted."

She turned her mint and peach ice cream around to lick at some melting drops. The mint was different today - this time with dark chocolate chips mixed in. She was not about to complain because it was delicious.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and kudos are appreciated! :)


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